Sunday, July 18, 2010

Homeschooling

I mentioned my views on a particular situation in regards to homeschooling in my most recent post. I figure that I should elaborate.

I am not against homeschooling in every single instance, and I'm certainly not for legislating against homeschooling. People in this country should have the right to choose to educate their children themselves. I am, however, against homeschooling in most cases where I've seen it applied.

While working at one's own pace might seem ideal, homeschooling often does more (or much less) than that. Although I haven't done much research into the legal side of the issue, I understand that (depending upon which state one is speaking of) there are more or less legal restrictions into homeschooling. But there are sometimes ways around these legal restrictions or--as I fear is too often the case--they are not strict enough.

If used properly, homeschooling could allow a child to move leagues and miles ahead of his peers, exploring the topics and subjects that most interest him while making sure the basics are covered in other areas.

Unfortunately, there are often side effects to homeschooling. Such as under-developed social skills. Or even a fundamental lack of knowledge about certain subjects.

(While I understand that anecdotes do not equal truths, I only have anecdotal evidence to present.) Of the fully homeschooled children I have met (at least a dozen), only two have been well adapted to "normal" social interactions. Some of the homeschooled children I've met were homeschooled only for a few years. They seemed to be much better adapted to "normal" social interactions than those who were completely homeschooled.

My main problem with homeschooling, if the reader has not yet guessed it, is that it forces children out of the microcosm created within the public school and surrounds them only with biased adults. These adults do not treat the child or children as they will later be treated by their peers because these adults are their parents.

As a boy scout and as a boy scout leader, I've witnessed no fewer than eight different homeschooled children over the last decade. The children did not fit in with their peers within the scout troop and often suffered because of it. There was never any outright bullying and certainly never any hazing, but there didn't have to be. Children can shun. Children can cast-out. And until those homeschooled children learned how to play by The Group's social rules (the group being the scout troop), they were not accepted as members.

As I mentioned before, not all homeschooling is bad. Sometimes, it works. I know two peers who were both homeschooled and get along great. They lead very active social lives, and they are rather popular at my current school. I believe that their parents forced them frequently (for twenty or more hours per week) into a social situation that was not entirely under control.

I hope this makes clear what I'm trying to say; I'm not sure that it did, and I am sure that I'll be returning to this subject again.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Familial Loyalty (Part II)

This is the second part of my posts on Familial Loyalty. For the first part, go here.


K, on the other hand, is completely insane. I'm no psychologist or psychiatrist, so I can't give a clinical diagnosis. But I definitely think there's something wrong with her in mental terms. First, some background information.

K recently lost her job. By recently, I mean about a year and a half ago. Before that, she was living in a nice house in a nice neighborhood. She has two children (boys, entering sixth and fourth grades), and they absolutely loved the neighborhood and the house. She continued living at that location for several months after losing her job, but eventually her water and power was shut off for non-payment. At that point, she moved back into my house with us.

(By "my house" I mean my grandmother's house. My father and I live in the basement apartment; there's two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a kitchen/living room combo. On the ground level, there are three normal sized bedrooms and a larger, "master-sized" bedroom. Also, a kitchen, a dining room, a living room, and a bathroom. Currently, the three smaller bedrooms are taken up by my grandmother, her sister, and my father's older sister. The larger bedroom is being occupied by K and her two children. Needless to say that space is at a premium in this house!)

This isn't a big deal. Whenever any of my father's siblings are down on their luck, the offer exists for them (if there's room) to move back in here. It's how the family works.

It is, however, a big deal that K is (understandably) angry with the world. You see, she is angry with the economic situation (and other aspects) that forced how out of the job field. She is angry with life because she has to grow up and be responsible (perhaps for the first time in her life). I assume that she is angry that she didn't follow her dreams and play college softball. She is angry at her husband (separated, not divorced) because he turned out to be a loser. She is angry with men in general because she seems to be unable to pick a non-loser man to share her life.

Oh! And she's angry with the school system. The local school system, the national system, the collegiate system.... All of them! Some things happened with her children and the particular school she was at wouldn't listen to her side of the story. That's wrong. It really is. The school system (or at least a few individuals within it) failed to do its job properly. That's a problem. But she has irrationally blamed the entire school system in our area and pulled her children from school. She is going to homeschool her children. This (in my opinion) is not an option. For several reasons (I see another blog post coming up!).

Regardless, she is so angry and upset with the world that she takes it out on anyone who will listen. Almost every conversation with her turns towards one of those subjects.

Although I haven't mentioned it yet, I aspire to teach high school English in a few, short years. I'm also male. That's two strikes against me (in her book). We came to verbal blows on the matter of the school system one day, but I left with the moral high ground (I walked away after we both started yelling).

The point I'm making is, we simply don't get along. And I think it's okay to stay that way.

To answer the question posited in my previous post, no. No, I don't owe this aunt anything. Not in terms of loyalty or respect. Nothing is owed to her that isn't owed to the average person. That is, I'll treat her with the dignity befitting a human, but no more than that.

I don't even give her the respect due to one's elders because she doesn't act her age. Hardly! (I can, of course, provide more information if it is requested.)

Familial Loyalty (Part I)

Here's something that's I've been thinking a good deal on lately. How much loyalty does one owe ones family? And I'm not just talking about one's immediate family (i.e. the people who significantly raised one), but also one's extended family.

Those who raise someone definitely deserve a certain level of loyalty (although this should be blind) because they have given freely of themselves in order to make sure that one is a grown human being. They have enabled one to grow up, in whichever manner they see fit. Perhaps they've made some mistakes, but all parents do. Perhaps they made more mistakes than someone else, but no one is perfect. While one shouldn't blindly follow the advice of one's immediate family (particularly one's parents and grandparents), one should definitely take it close to heart and make sure that said advice is an option.

But one's extended family is different. (Note: I'll be using generic terms throughout here such as "aunt" and "uncle" and the like; if those particular labels happen to fit into your personal immediate family, replace them for something more fitting to your circumstances. I'm writing about my own experiences and my own unique situation.) One's extended family has had an impact on one's upbringing and on one's life, but it is insignificant compared to one's parents' and grandparents' impacts.

So, how much does one owe one's aunts and uncles, particularly if those aunts and uncles have largely been absent for the majority of one's life? What does one owe them that one doesn't owe to the vast majority of people?

In my personal case, I have two aunts who have brought this question to my mind. The first is an aunt I'll call D; I did not meet this aunt until I was fifteen or sixteen. (In case it hasn't been posted elsewhere, I'm now nineteen.) The second of these aunts I'll call K; I've known her for as long as I can claim to know anyone (the beginnings of my consciousness), but she is a special case that I'll get to in a moment.

D, as I mentioned, was absent from my and my immediate family's lives until approximately four years ago. Maybe a little more or a little less; the dates are fuzzy in my mind. To frame her and her age, she is my mother's paternal aunt. She is roughly sixty-five years old. I honestly don't know the entire story (and personally don't care all that much), but from what I've gathered she had been living with her then-husband quite happily until he left her for another man. Also from what I've gathered, she had essentially abandoned her childhood family for this husband's for a few decades.

D is annoying. And this is not my sole opinion. My mother agrees with me on this assessment. My mother's father does as well. As does my mother's grandmother (D's mother). D is now living with her mother and helping to care for her. My great-grandmother (D's mother) is eighty-four years old; she has difficulty moving around, and she doesn't like being left alone.

D is annoying because she is always sick with something or other. She does have some conditions which keep her in some level of pain at all times. But she constantly complains about being ill or about taking pills. Or about her food allergies. From what I've gathered in talking to her, she is allergic to everything except bottled water and air.

So, here's that question: do I owe her anything (even in terms of love or loyalty)? If I do, I certainly don't give it to her. I cannot love her because I don't know her. As for loyalty, I give her the respect that is deserved by one's elders. But I don't go out of my way to please her.

I'll close with an anecdote. I went over to their house the other day in order to see my great-grandmother. I make it a point to visit her at least once a week while I'm in town. When I'm not in town, I make it a point to visit her as often as I can. She's eighty-four, as I recently mentioned, and I want to make sure that she feels loved and that she knows I love her. You see, her husband died two years ago. Since then, a good number of people in the family have stopped coming to see her. In fact, when I was over there just the other day (I believe it was Thursday), D told me that, of the grandchildren and great-grandchildren, only her two sons come over. Well, her two sons and me. She said that.

That got me thinking. I think the reason that the others in the family don't come over is quite simple: they don't want to deal with D. Of course, they're busy. Who isn't? But they could make time to visit their grandmother and great-grandmother. Perhaps they really don't care about her, but I think that to be highly unlikely. I think that they just don't care to put up with their aunt and great-aunt.


I realized how long this is going to be, so I decided to make it two posts. Please read tomorrow for the follow-up about my other aunt, K, and how I feel about a different scenario of extended-familial loyalty.

PROJECT SSA (Episode One)

I'm currently working on setting up a local "chapter" of the Secular Student Alliance (SSA) at my school (North Georgia College & State University (NGCSU)). As things with the SSA happen, I figure I'll post them here.

First, some background information:

Because I frequently read Hemant Mehta's blog (The Friendly Atheist), I had been introduced to other SSA's at other schools. They do a lot of great stuff, and, if you've got the time, I suggest heading over to their website and looking into them. In short (for those who might not have the time to check out their website), SSA is an international organization which helps local campus groups get started. They are devoted to furthering a humanistic, realistic worldview and to helping students (hence the "Student" in their name) promote rational thought at college campuses.

Before I entered college (last summer), I started looking into forming an SSA at my school. Having done some research, I knew that there was not currently a student group at my school. In fact, there are only three in my state! (This isn't too terribly surprising: Georgia is exceptionally conservative.) So, I began to look into the process I would need to follow in order to start a campus group. Turns out I'd need five members, a faculty adviser, some forms, a group constitution, and the approval of our Student Government. While it might seem like an easy check-off list to go through, this project was soon placed on the back burner due to my being a freshman in college who was learning how to juggle social life, responsibilities, academics, and a small job.

As my first semester became my second, the project was moved from the back burner to the side counter. Then it was scrapped altogether. There simply wasn't enough time to keep up the lifestyle I'd started to fall into as well as to form this group!

After my second semester ended and I moved back home for the summer, I started thinking about the project again. I took the idea to a nontheist friend of mine and we talked about it. She thought this was a good idea, so I started asking around. Soon I had three other students interested. At this point, I re-contacted the SSA to request materials to aid in the starting of this group. Soon after beginning this process (again), I found the fifth of our mandatory five members.

I made a Facebook Group Page (one of the requirements that the SSA puts on local "chapters"). It's called "North Georgia Skeptics," though that page is rather bare at the moment.

These four other students and myself are currently in the process of writing a group constitution (luckily, the SSA provides a sample to aid in this process!). Hopefully we'll be able to finish this and to find a group adviser before school starts again next month.

When we have made significant more ground, I'll be sure to update this to help reflect our progress.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Mandatory Opening Post

I believe that it is mandatory that all blogs have an official opening post which tells the purpose of said blog. Here's mine.

I honestly don't have any direction for this blog set out in my mind. I want an online place where I can set down my thoughts on a matter and access them from different locations. I think this blog will be a good tool because (if utilized correctly) I'll be able to see my writing strengths and weaknesses a year or more down the road. That is, I'll be able to see how my writing is progressing. Hopefully, this will help me catch certain phrases that I overuse and eliminate them from my writing (or, at least, reduce them).

Also, I think this blog will be beneficial because it will enable me to set down my thoughts at a particular moment and come back to them later. I currently do not keep any sort of writing unless it is for a grade for one of my classes. In fact, at present, I don't do very much writing unless it is for a grade. This project (which I'm tentatively starting as an every day blog, but might make it a three to four times a week blog) will enable me to have multiple samples of daily writing.

As for subjects, this blog really is about whatever I happen to be thinking of when I sit down to write. Common foreseeable topics include my family, love, religion, ethics, politics, atheism, philosophy, and books I'm reading. Of course, I may deviate from this list as I feel like it.

Comments are appreciated, but this is (currently) for myself.